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第141章(第1页)

Elizabethsspiritssoonrisingtoplayfulnessagain,shewantedMr.Darcytoaccountforhishavingeverfalleninlovewithher.“Howcouldyoubegin?”

saidshe.“Icancomprehendyourgoingoncharmingly,whenyouhadoncemadeabeginning;butwhatcouldsetyouoffinthefirstplace?”

“Icannotfixonthehour,orthespot,orthelook,orthewords,whichlaidthefoundation.Itistoolongago.IwasinthemiddlebeforeIknewthatIhadbegun.”

“Mybeautyyouhadearlywithstood,andasformymanners—mybehaviourtoyouwasatleastalwaysborderingontheuncivil,andIneverspoketoyouwithoutratherwishingtogiveyoupainthannot.Nowbesincere;didyouadmiremeformyimpertinence?”

“Forthelivelinessofyourmind,Idid.”

“Youmayaswellcallitimpertinenceatonce.Itwasverylittleless.Thefactis,thatyouweresickofcivility,ofdeference,ofofficiousattention.Youweredisgustedwiththewomenwhowerealwaysspeaking,andlooking,andthinkingforyourapprobationalone.Iroused,andinterestedyou,becauseIwassounlikethem.Hadyounotbeenreallyamiable,youwouldhavehatedmeforit;butinspiteofthepainsyoutooktodisguiseyourself,yourfeelingswerealwaysnobleandjust;andinyourheart,youthoroughlydespisedthepersonswhosoassiduouslycourtedyou.There—Ihavesavedyouthetroubleofaccountingforit;andreally,allthingsconsidered,Ibegintothinkitperfectlyreasonable.Tobesure,youknewnoactualgoodofme—butnobodythinksofthatwhentheyfallinlove.”

“WastherenogoodinyouraffectionatebehaviourtoJanewhileshewasillatNetherfield?”

“DearestJane!whocouldhavedonelessforher?Butmakeavirtueofitbyallmeans.Mygoodqualitiesareunderyourprotection,andyouaretoexaggeratethemasmuchaspossible;and,inreturn,itbelongstometofindoccasionsforteasingandquarrellingwithyouasoftenasmaybe;andIshallbegindirectlybyaskingyouwhatmadeyousounwillingtocometothepointatlast?Whatmadeyousoshyofme,whenyoufirstcalled,andafterwardsdinedhere?Why,especially,whenyoucalled,didyoulookasifyoudidnotcareaboutme?”

“Becauseyouweregraveandsilent,andgavemenoencouragement.”

“ButIwasembarrassed.”

“AndsowasI.”

“Youmighthavetalkedtomemorewhenyoucametodinner.”

“Amanwhohadfeltless,might.”

“Howunluckythatyoushouldhaveareasonableanswertogive,andthatIshouldbesoreasonableastoadmitit!ButIwonderhowlongyouwouldhavegoneon,ifyouhadbeenlefttoyourself.Iwonderwhenyouwouldhavespoken,ifIhadnotaskedyou!MyresolutionofthankingyouforyourkindnesstoLydiahadcertainlygreateffect.Toomuch,Iamafraid;forwhatbecomesofthemoral,ifourcomfortspringsfromabreachofpromise?forIoughtnottohavementionedthesubject.Thiswillneverdo.”

“Youneednotdistressyourself.Themoralwillbeperfectlyfair.LadyCatherinesunjustifiableendeavourstoseparateuswerethemeansofremovingallmydoubts.Iamnotindebtedformypresenthappinesstoyoureagerdesireofexpressingyourgratitude.Iwasnotinahumourtowaitforanyopeningofyours.Myauntsintelligencehadgivenmehope,andIwasdeterminedatoncetoknoweverything.”

“LadyCatherinehasbeenofinfiniteuse,whichoughttomakeherhappy,forshelovestobeofuse.Buttellme,whatdidyoucomedowntoNetherfieldfor?WasitmerelytoridetoLongbournandbeembarrassed?orhadyouintendedanymoreseriousconsequence?”

“Myrealpurposewastoseeyou,andtojudge,ifIcould,whetherImighteverhopetomakeyouloveme.Myavowedone,orwhatIavowedtomyself,wastoseewhetheryoursisterwerestillpartialtoBingley,andifshewere,tomaketheconfessiontohimwhichIhavesincemade.”

“ShallyoueverhavecouragetoannouncetoLadyCatherinewhatistobefallher?”

“Iammorelikelytowantmoretimethancourage,Elizabeth.Butitoughttobedone,andifyouwillgivemeasheetofpaper,itshallbedonedirectly.”

“AndifIhadnotalettertowritemyself,Imightsitbyyouandadmiretheevennessofyourwriting,asanotheryoungladyoncedid.ButIhaveanaunt,too,whomustnotbelongerneglected.”

FromanunwillingnesstoconfesshowmuchherintimacywithMr.Darcyhadbeenover-rated,ElizabethhadneveryetansweredMrs.Gardinerslongletter;butnow,havingthattocommunicatewhichsheknewwouldbemostwelcome,shewasalmostashamedtofindthatheruncleandaunthadalreadylostthreedaysofhappiness,andimmediatelywroteasfollows:

“Iwouldhavethankedyoubefore,mydearaunt,asIoughttohavedone,foryourlong,kind,satisfactory,detailofparticulars;buttosaythetruth,Iwastoocrosstowrite.Yousupposedmorethanreallyexisted.Butnowsupposeasmuchasyouchoose;givealoosereintoyourfancy,indulgeyourimaginationineverypossibleflightwhichthesubjectwillafford,andunlessyoubelievemeactuallymarried,youcannotgreatlyerr.Youmustwriteagainverysoon,andpraisehimagreatdealmorethanyoudidinyourlast.Ithankyou,againandagain,fornotgoingtotheLakes.HowcouldIbesosillyastowishit!Yourideaoftheponiesisdelightful.WewillgoroundtheParkeveryday.Iamthehappiestcreatureintheworld.Perhapsotherpeoplehavesaidsobefore,butnoonewithsuchjustice.IamhappiereventhanJane;sheonlysmiles,Ilaugh.Mr.Darcysendsyoualltheloveintheworldthathecansparefromme.YouarealltocometoPemberleyatChristmas.Yours,etc.”

Mr.DarcyslettertoLadyCatherinewasinadifferentstyle;andstilldifferentfromeitherwaswhatMr.BennetsenttoMr.Collins,inreplytohislast.

“DearSir,

“Imusttroubleyouoncemoreforcongratulations.ElizabethwillsoonbethewifeofMr.Darcy.ConsoleLadyCatherineaswellasyoucan.But,ifIwereyou,Iwouldstandbythenephew.Hehasmoretogive.

“Yourssincerely,etc.”

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